A Mighty Change Of Heart

Dear Family,
I can't even describe the love that I feel for not only you guys, but for all of God's children. I had an experience this past weekend that written words, and perhaps even verbal, won't do any justice of what I had experienced. Let me explain;

I have realized now that God truly is there for us, and He wants the best for all of His children. He puts certain people in our lives to help us to return to live with Him, and to have Eternal Happiness. My companion, Elder Dynes, who is currently the District Leader gave an excellent meeting discussion about the Doctrine of Christ. Now this is stuff that I know already, but never before had I ever really internalized it into my thick skull. Our purpose as missionaries is to "Invite others to come unto Christ, by helping them receive the Restored Gospel by through Faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and Enduring to the End." All are basic principles that members of the Church understand, but for me, I had the knowledge in my head, but never before was it actually in my heart. I help and invite others to change their ways and their hearts, but I realized I need to invite and help myself as well. Then I talked to you guys on Mothers Day, and it seemed so short. Maybe like a minute long it felt, of what was actually an hour long conversation. I miss and love you guys, and I could feel that from you as well. After our phone call, I prayed for probably a good half hour while my companion was talking to his family. I prayed that I could change, if not for God, or even myself, then for my family, because I don't ever ever want to let any of those whom I care most about down. I basically prayed for everyone and everything, and I had been the most sincere about it in a long time. I prayed for a miracle to happen.

So following my prayer I immediately started reading through the Book of Mormon, since scripture is a means where you receive personal revelation from our Father in Heaven. I stumbled somehow to Ether 12:27. Now, I have read this scripture a number of times before but never did I really think about that promise that God actually gives us. It just hit me right then like, "Duh!" haha I realized that if I am to change my character, and fix any flaws, to become somewhat remotely close to perfect as the savior commands us to be, it is through God. He will help us, IF we let Him, and allow Him to. It requires humility.

Then Tuesday happened, May 10, 2011. We had a zone conference, and this is how I can maybe better explain that the Church is so true! Where else would you see 50 or more young men, aged 19-25, who are all weeping, because they felt the Spirit of God, and had so much love toward everyone and everything! I know of no other place where that happens! We were basically instructed about being like Captain Moroni, firm, undaunted, and exactly obedient. He fought the fight with the adversary, Satan, and did the best he could to serve God. We also watched a video of Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in the MTC this past January, instructing missionaries that we are to be like Peter, to not ever go back to our old ways. There is no going back to this evil, carnally-minded world when I return home from my mission. I am to step forward with faith, and preach the gospel to all, full-time missionary or member missionary. After Elder Hollands remarks, all the missionaries bore their testimonies of what they felt, and the Spirit was packed in that small chapel in Nazareth, PA. I felt an overwhelmingly sense of urgency, and such a strong desire to change. I was crying so much, but they were not sad tears, they were answers to my prayers. After the meeting, I sat down with my mission president, President Schaefermeyer for about 20 minutes discussing about my spiritual re-birth. About my desire to change to fully help myself, to rid myself of all pride, and to most importantly, to serve my God. I was then given a priesthood blessing, and now I've never felt this type of fire before to do all that I can. To finally live up to my full potential of a disciple of Christ. I bear my testimony, that I know that God lives and that he does love us, and will allow us to grow and change our hearts, if we humble ourselves, recognize our imperfections and repent, and become "even as a little child." I know that this church that I represent, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's kingdom on the earth today. I know that the Savior died for us all, but only for those that will actually follow Him, as He beckons us to, "Follow Thou Me." I know that change is possible, and it is necessary for all of us if we truly want peace and happiness in this life, and in the world to come. This is my testimony, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.